OnWingsoftheMorning

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Don't Look Now

Who'll take the coal from the mine
Who'll take the salt from the earth
Who'll take the leaf
And grow it to a tree
Don't look now
But it ain't you or me.
Who'll work the field with his hands
Who'll put his back to the plow
Who'll take the mountain
And give it to the sea
Don't look now
But it ain't you or me.
Don't look now
But someone's done your starving
Don't look now
But someone's done your praying.
Who'll make the shoes for your feet
Who'll make the clothes that you wear
Who'll make the promise
That you don't have to keep
Don't look now
But it ain't you or me.



by Credence Clearwater Revival

Where I First Saw The Light

I visited my retired and aged father in East Texas five years ago. I did so two or three times a year until my step-mother died and he moved to Dallas last year. My father was born in that general area as was most of his kin and also that of his second wife, my step-mother.

My father still has a few years in him, but no ones how many and he wanted to share something of himself now. I knew about his war exploits and stories of his growing on a farm during the depression, but I hardly knew anything of his earliest childhood, those spent here before they moved on to West Texas hoping to grow cash crops, in particular cotton.

I went with him as he took me around just to be courteous. There was a bit of curiosity, but mostly I just wanted to be nice to an old man that seemed to need to tell me something. To leave something behind of himself.

I knew him to be born in the county seat, but that was the big city compared to where he was really born. Ten miles from the county seat was a village so small, it wasn't even a village, it was a farming area with a name. He showed me the cemetary where his grandfather was buried, his grandmother, his father, his mother, and some other relatives. A small cemetery that had more people than any other place on this two lane road. Across the road was the colored cemetery dating all the way back to pre-Civil War where they buried the slaves.

Just up the road was a twenty acre farm that his father used to farm. When the soil gave out they moved a few miles further up the same road and we went there too. He kept on driving until he came to a shack so dilapidated it was barely standing up. My father stopped the car and just stared for a moment. His mouth fell open and he explained that his grandfather used to farm this land and this was his old house. The present farmer was using it for a store house. My boys were with me and I was so proud for them to see this. This is how it was. This was us, the real us, not the educated city slickers we had become. This was our heritage, our makeup. We were Southerners, sons of sharecroppers. Dirt poor, but hard working and proud. The backbone of history.

I had my camera with me and my wife took a picture of these three generations of Texans. Later I had it blown up and framed. I hang mine up in the boys room, I gave my father a copy and he has it hanging next to his war pictures.

By now I was hanging on to every word, every story my father told. I was bulging in pride. Who would want to be a Rockefeller when you could be a Texan?

On an adjacent road was a cattle tank. Everybody used to fish there. It was sociable and relaxing and a source of some of the few morsels of meat they got. One day a revival passed through and they threw up their tent next to this tank. My grandmother was religious and though of a different denomination, Methodist, she went and brought the kids with her. My granddaddy tagged along, making sure they got there okay, and giving into his nagging wife, but he smoked and drank and cussed and didn't put much worth in all of this foolishness. So much pie in the sky nonsense that made you weak.

He stayed outside the tent entrance and smoked a cigarette. You could hear the Pentecostal preacher bellowing out his message and my grandfather almost guffawed as he pulled out another cigarette. But something in the sermon touched a chord and he flicked the half smoked cigarette away, took off his hat and sat down next to his wife and kids. At the end of the service he answered the altar call and our family has been Pentecostal ever since, two of his sons becoming preachers.

All these memories came back just now as I listened on the stereo to a Hank Williams Gospel song called Something Got A Hold Of Me. Hank Williams was a sinner, like Elvis Presley, but something in their dark, moody, lost souls were moved by the same calling. They wrote and sang some of the greatest heart felt Gospel I've ever listened to. I have lost, dark sides to me too and Jesus hit it smack dab on the head when He reached out and called out to people like us. All of us aren't lost in every way. Some of this is real in us and humbles more than the 'sinless' and proud could ever know. Where would we ever be if we had not crashed the dinner of Simon the Pharisee and been welcomed by Jesus as we washed his feet with our tears and dried them with our hair as Simon judged Jesus for taking us in? Who has more to love with and be grateful for than the lost sheep for which He forsook the ninety and nine to come fetch and bring home.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Life's Evening Sun

A new work year is beginning and to prepare for it I had to come into work this weekend. Since I was the only one in the building I got to unplug my stereo speakers as I did so. I bought a CD burner a couple of years ago and have put most of my old records and cassettes to CD, and many of them on my harddisk at work. An old Gospel tune came on as I worked.

It was an old Tennessee Ernie Ford song, but in particular, it was by the Jordanaires. The Jordanaires were considered by many when I was growing up, as perhaps the best Southern Gospel quartet around. A new phenomena named Elvis Presley thought this enough to arrange for them to be his back up vocalists in his brand new kingdom. Elvis' dream in life had been to be a Gospel singer. Now he was including this dream as he was shaking the world.

My mother gave me this song back when I was visiting her as I was finishing up my bachelor's degree. I had pulled out of the rat race looking for a new direction and hoped going back to college would help me find it. She presented the album to me when I visited her for the Thanksgiving Day holidays. I was so fixated on my studies that the dinner feast then was about all I allowed myself, even passing up the Dallas Cowboys game on TV.

But to ease the tightness some I put on my mother's album. When this song came on I barely noticed it at first, then almost snickered at the corny words. But the Jordanaires demanded more with the conviction in how they sang it and I stopped to listen.

To be a child
Of God each day
My life must shine
Along the way
I'll sing his praise
While ages roll
I'll strive to help
Some troubled soul.

How did such straightforward, simple, beautiful words get to be so corny. They taught us these things in Sunday School hoping we would be good boys and girls. Then you grow up and you realize your mother didn't know everything much less do everything right, you saw hypocricy, and so many superstitions had crept into religion too.

But these words touched me all over again. While I was growing up, I had forgotten to grow all the way up. These words meant something, Christ's life meant everything. It wasn't corny at all, it was a message that you could only do with, what you knew about it.

And that was the point of all this, the point of life itself. It wasn't about going to church or doing what was right or wrong as much as doing what was real and what worked and what you could do about any of that. Simple truths like in the song. Truths that meant something and were moving.

The only life
That will endure
Is one that's kind
And good and pure
And so for God
I'll take my stand
Each day I'll lend
A helping hand.

Life's evening sun
Is sinking low
A few more days
And I must go
To meet the deeds
That I have done
Where there will be
No setting sun.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Aztec Fatalism

From accounts recorded by the Aztecs themselves in the codices prepared under the friars, it is clear that Motecuhzoma (Montezuma) had long dreaded the arrival of powerful men from the east. Legends that haunted them foretold the return of Quetzalcoatl, who generations before had departed Mexico on a raft woven of serpents, promising to return one day and reclaim his throne. The predicted year of his second coming translated in Romanic terms from the Aztec calendar was 1519, the very year Hernan Cortez of Spain arrived.

As soon as Montezuma got word of Spanish ships, the supposed giant raft of Quetzalcoatl, were plying his coast, the superstitious Montezuma feared he was doomed. Obsessed with old prophecies, his instincts fatalistically appealed to him to surrender from the very beginning. It was his destination, he believed, to preside over the destruction of Aztec civilization. So distraught was Motecuhzoma that he was desirous that the events which had been predicted take place immediately and get it over with.

According to one Aztec codex, nightly for a year there arose a sign like a tongue of fire, like a flame. Pointed and wide-based, it pierced the heavens to their midpoint, as to their very heart. And on the day of Cortes' arrival inexplicably an Aztec Temple burst into flames and could not be extinguished. Soon after another was set on fire by lightning. Then a comet appeared.

When Montezuma's bribes and appeals to the Spanish could not appease them, he fled, but was captured by Aztec priests who pressured him to face the Spanish. He did so, but first gave a farewell speech, then bade farewell to his wives and children.

The wonders of Tenochtitlan on Lake Texoco, the Aztec capital, was like seeing the marvels of ancient Rome at their peek, Cortez and the Spanish decided. How could these heathen accomplish so much?

The Aztec empire and glory until then had been on the rise, not nearing it's zenith.

But it was built most literally on the blood of the land.

The Spanish at first feigned to come in friendship, but had nothing else on their minds but conquest, spoils, and forced conversion to the one true God. They soon let Montezuma know that his worst fears were true, then executed him. The Aztecs were enraged over this sacrelige and betrayel. Though they vastly outnumbered the Spanish, the Conquistadors could match them in valor, fierceness, and were much superior to them in technology, even over the dreaded atlatl. The Spanish swooped down upon them with their cavalry, pulling cannon on their casons with wheels, and with their gunshot.

But still the Aztecs almost overtook them in one fierce battle that almost turned the tide. The Aztecs had made many, bitter enemies. The Aztecs didn't just defeat you, they devoured you. The subject survivors turned on their Aztec masters, but still the Aztec at long last, almost surprisingly gained for a moment the upper hand. But the seeds of their demise had been planted for decades now. The Aztecs didn't want to demolish their opponents, they wanted to capture them alive. Rewards and honors went to their warriors who managed this.

And so they attempted this with the Spanish and gave the Conquistadors the chance to regroup and finish them off.

It was not humanitarinism that made the Aztec want to capture instead of annihilate their opponents. They wanted, needed, victims. The very surival of the world, they believed required this.

Like many ancient religions around the world the Aztecs believed the world was ruled by forces of light and forces of darkness. Everyday the supreme sun god, the one who gave nourishment, warmth and light, would be devoured by the forces of night, the gods of the moon and the stars. What horror this caused the Aztecs. What could they do to aid the god of good?

What would strengthen and nourish the god that kept the world going? It surely must be the very thing that strengthened and nourished them, even all life. Blood. As much blood as could be attained. The Spanish reported back to King Philip of the thousands of human sacrifices they had seen the Aztecs give to their god. The King and any others who heard believed this an exaggeration, but surviving tribes verified it.

At the top of the temple each victim, one at a time, by a priest would have his heart cut out while still beating and held up to the god, while the body was kicked down the steps to the bottom.

And in times of drought the rain god must also be appeased. For the sake of the tribe the crops must be brought forth, therefore rain had to be maintained. What must induce the rain god to provide for them again? The tears of children obviously. Children were brought forth and terrified to produce tears, as many tears as could be provided to induce tears again from the god of rain. The children would be sacrificed, but not before tormented and terrified, until enough tears could be brought forth to finally satisify and replenish the rain god.

In 1938 scientists found buried in Aztec ruins the stone form of one such rain god, Tlaloc. They uncovered it, brought it out, set it on a wagon and took it to the archaeological museum in Mexico City. A drought was in progress in the area. But it began to rain as the stone figure was rolled along and rain followed it all the way to the museum and it continued to rain for a week there afterwards.

A warrior king named Nezahualcoytl, today known as the poet-king of Tetzcoco, near Tenochtitlan, near or part of present day Mexico City, ushered in an age of of intellectual achievement for the Aztecs in their early beginnings of empire. He ruled according to lofty principles that he developed as a youth. As a teenager he saw his father killed by invaders and spent the following eight years as a virtual exile. Hiding from his enemies for two years in the mountains, he received aid from Aztec allies and in battle win the throne that rightfully belonged to him in the first place. As Aztec ruler he became a renowned poet, was also a patron of art and science and sponseord public recitals of poetry. He built a temple without idols and dedicated them to a single deity he called the unknown god and banned human sacrifice. Somehow the sun came up the next morning anyway. Nezahualcoytl would wander as a king disguised as a commoner among his people and reward worthy citizens and redress grievances.

The word excruciating

The word excruciating comes from Latin. Not a big surprise necessarily. It comes from the Latin word excruciatus, which means 'out of the cross'. Crucifixion was not only the most demeaning method of capital punishment, but by far the most painful and horrendous.

The Romans could make you suffer long by putting a small seat to help support you. Some lasted for three days of this agony. Christ was tortured and starved first. This may be why He died in only six hours, which surprised even Pontius Pilate. Though no one knows the method used to crucify Him, the quickest means of death was usually when they nailed one foot to each side of the cross, making it more painful to support yourself, thus exhausting you more quickly, and as you collapsed your lungs affixiated. Everyone died from lung affixiation almost, but there were different methods to speed it up or slow it down.

In the case of this Passover time crucifixion, they had to get it over quickly. The two thieves on either side of Jesus had their legs broken to induce heart attacks. Jesus' quick death prevented that from happening, to fulfill Biblical prophecy.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Long Black Veil

I'm sitting here with headphones on listening to Joan Baez sing the Lefty Frizzell classic 'Long Black Veil'.

You sit and listen to the words and think about it and it almost seems absurd. It's about a guy, Baez goes ahead and sings as a guy like the original words, that is accused of murdering someone one cold stormy night. 'The slayer that ran looked a lot like me', the verse goes.

The main character in it cannot defend himself even though he has an alibi. Nobly he remains silent because his one alibi was that he was in the arms of his best friend's wife. The woman involved, who now wears a long, black veil as she visits his grave, doesn't speak up either and the guy hangs.

But the song is so effective and you leave it as a don't try this at home. So many have sung this song. Lefty, Joan, Johnny Cash, even Bob Dylan's band. You get so caught up in it, even in this day when people are openly in the arms of their best friend's wife.

Maybe missing such nobility, however misplaced, even over a dastardly act. Maybe just a beautiful love song, but the song is haunting and you get so caught up in it. Vulnerable, human love, however misplaced, all the more vulnerable and human.

If they ever had a sequel though. You know that somewhere she told and her husband shot her dead anyway or something not noble. That's why a sequel was never written perhaps.

Illusion

The Hindu have a concept called Maya, which denotes illusion. Life, concepts, are made of illusion. For decades I have seen interviews of Keith Richards and Mick Jagger and this concept so seems to fit. They are so caught up in themselves, it's as if they see themselves even now as Rolling Stones. Not that they aren't, but they see themselves and life through such a haze and it distorts.